Let me share with you some suggestions for alleviating contention:

1. Pray to have the love of God in your heart. Sometimes this is a struggle, but the Spirit of the Lord can soften hard feelings and mellow a callous spirit.
2. Learn to control your tongue. There is an old maxim and an excellent one: “Think twice before you speak and three times before you act.”
3. Don’t allow emotions to take over; rather, reason together.
4. Refuse to get embroiled in the same old patterns of argument and confrontation.
5. Practice speaking in a soft, calm voice. The peaceful life can best be attained not by those who speak with a voice of “great tumultuous noise” but by those who follow the Savior’s example and speak with “a still voice of perfect mildness.” (Hel. 5:30.)

Marvin J. Ashton, “No Time for Contention,” Ensign (CR) May 1978